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We are wired for story. Stories can be conveyed in a cave painting, from the pulpit, a book or a podcast. Story is the way we share meaning and truth. Today’s post is about key lessons that emerged from Season #3 of the Things I Didn’t Learn in School podcast.
Our eight guests came from a range of backgrounds. As a reminder, they were: Adam Frankel, an Obama speechwriter; Rabbi Michael Friedman; Dr. Alexander Vanyukov, a Russian surgeon who re-purposed to treat Covid; Ray Dalio, an investor and author; Dan Zwirn, also an investor; Jim Comey, former head of the FBI; Tamara Chubinidze, a restauranteur and Nick Reber, a health-data entrepreneur. These stories were downloaded from Ho Chi Minh to Singapore to Kiev to Toronto to New York City.
While stories are infinite, the ones we remember often follow a structure. There is a beginning a middle and an end, of course. There is also a discernible pattern within those three parts.
Classically, the story begins with an event that knocks the main character out of the familiar. Think Odysseus released from captivity or Darth Vader capturing Princess Leia. This disruption forces the main character to respond, often against difficult opponents. Characters like Atticus Finch in To Kill Mockingbird or Jason Bourne come to mind. The hero digs deep and in doing so comes to see that they must rely on others, like Sancho Panza helping Don Quixote or Hermione aiding Harry Potter. Finally, the disruption is resolved and the main character is transformed, often wiser and more humble, like Raskolnikov confessing to murder in Crime and Punishment or Dorothy tapping the heels of her ruby slippers in The Wizard of Oz and waking up.
While life is messier than fiction, I saw the above rubric at work in our Season #3 conversations.
Lesson #1 - Expect your life to be disrupted.
Some of these disruptions are widely shared, like leaving home, becoming a parent or switching jobs. Others are more specific. Dr. Vanyukov’s life went from being a heart surgeon with a relatively predictable work schedule to navigating Covid in a country where trust in government and vaccines is low. Investor Ray Dalio suffered every parent’s worse nightmare, the loss of a child. Investor Dan Zwirn was suspected of having committed a terrible mistake, and only got cleared…years later. Jim Comey crossed paths with Trump.
In their own words:
“The bus can come up on the sidewalk and hit you.” --Dan.
“Life is going to come at you. And it will give you wonderful things and it will give you terrible things in its way. And that's just..life.” --Ray.
We also create disruption, like the way Nick is disrupting health care. I find it useful to sometimes stop thinking about whatever challenges I face and instead remember that everyone around me is dealing with their own disruptions. While disruption can feel isolating, it is a shared experience.
Lesson #2 – Our power comes from choosing how to respond.
This is an old idea.
In their own words:
“Choosing your attitude, you’re choosing your energy …you have to know you have a choice fighting the battle,” Tamara.
“Reputations are not under your control, only character is,” Dan.
Reinhold Niebuhr offered the serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Lesson #3 – People want to help.
Big problems are...big, too big for any single person to solve. We require aid and cooperation, which of course requires compromise and flexibility.
In their own words:
“If you need help, just ask. And that help can come from the most unexpected people and places. I couldn’t even imagine that erstwhile soccer hooligans would be willing to run around helping grandmas,” Dr. Vanyukov.
Tamara’s help came in the form of tapping generations of culinary wisdom in her own family. “I was growing up in like a food competition, from two different regions,” in Georgia, she said.
In his teenage years, Rabbi Michael Friedman decided “Judaism could be a guide … for how to live a good life.”
Lesson #4 – You will get through your challenges and this will change you.
In their own words:
“Truly honest people are very, very rare. That is honest about themselves, about their biases, about facts,” Jim.
The stories are there, if we ask and listen. Of course, if you are doing the telling, learn to “keep it simple and short; nobody ever wished a speech was longer,” as Adam said.
Happy Holidays from the Still Press Team! Also, if you have someone who you think would make a great podcast guest, reach out.
Wonderful year end summary
Tks for sharing Paul. My best to you !